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LONG BEACH (gorewon2000.net) February 2, 2001 -- The Free Republic, a conservative political website devoted to everything reactionary and abhorrent to decency and morality, recently began a discussion regarding starting up an online "meat-market" for Freepers looking for love. The Diva responded to their siren call…
Subject: Single Female Freeper Looking for Love
Dear Anymouse:
I am interested in the "Freeper Singles Forum" you propose. I am a single female Freeper, looking for a man I can submit to, preferably one who commands that I stay in my place, and that I am seen and not heard. I would love to meet a man who isn't afraid to drag me around by my hair, hit me regularly to maintain his authority over me, and control my life, my friends, my clothes, and my opinions.
I crave structure.
I would be especially interested meeting a single male hetero Freeper whose identity is threatened by gay men, but who is turned on by lesbian women; a single guy who is rabidly anti-abortion, and yet refuses to wear condoms. I'm definitely in the market for a "double standards" kind of guy. A traditional male.
I've visited the Free Republic a lot, so I know I am in the right place for finding this "man of my dreams." I think your idea could really speed this process up. Keep me posted...
157 Posted on 02/02/2001 02:47:54 PST by lynnettet
(Single Female Freeper Looking for Love)
FREEP THE FREEPERS:
BECOME MOLE, CRY OUT FOR LOVE, SING-A-LONG
ASHCROFT THROWS CELEBRATORY CRISCO PARTY
Washington, DC (Gil C.) February 2, 2001 -- John Ashcroft, fresh from being sworn in as Attorney General of the United States, celebrated his hard-won victory by inviting all his friends over for one of his now-famous "self-anointings," which included many bottles of Crisco Oil.
Ashcroft, who detailed in his 1998 book "Lessons From A Father To A Son" how, as a good Christian, he would "anoint" himself with Crisco Oil after winning a senatorial term or governorship, declared "Let the anointing begin!" at his luxurious Washington townhome last night.
Over 15 cases of Crisco Oil were delivered to the townhome early last week on orders from Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott (R-MS). "It was a done deal from the start," said Lott, drinking a stiff cocktail of Crisco and Johnny Walker Red. "We actually put the grocery bill on Tom Daschle's tab, ha ha."
Many of Ashcroft's friends were there, including the 8 democratic senators who voted for his confirmation as Attorney General. Russ Feingold (D-WI) said he was especially happy to be invited to the party, as he bent over, patiently waiting for a lubed-up Ashcroft to "deliver me from evil."
"We know what John is going to do to the country," said Feingold, smiling. "We might as well get started, one democrat at a time!"
President George W. Bush, also in attendance, mistakenly brought a quart of Quaker State Motor Oil. "Somebody mentioned a lube job," the President said. "I'm still the President, right?"
NEXT: "LOVE THEME FROM THE FREE REPUBLIC"
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