The Coup of

Marty Von Diebstahl


By Spencer Stauffer


Marty wanted to be president;

He decided on it one day.

Though Marty had no experience;

He figured it would play.

He earned not the right to be president,

But that was all right with him.

Though not entitled to be president,

He hid his grin--the fix was in--

Ah, the beauty of privilege and sin.


Louis dreamed he would be president

In an election of honorable means.

He ran a campaign of decency.

He kept his rhetoric clean.

The press attacked him often.

They said he did nothing right.

They pointed out every fault,

Saying he lied, lied, and lied.


Yes, they swabbed Marty's ears

And washed Marty's feet;

They polished Marty's ring

With drunken, delightful glee.

They chuckled at Marty's jokes.

They kissed Marty's cheek.

They brushed Marty's hair.

They flossed Marty's teeth.

They picked Marty's lint

Off his smelly coat.

But they ignored the disease

That oozed from Marty's throat.


Election night in Florida:

A web of cabalistic schemes;

Power grabbing and ballot tampering--

Unlike anything, anyone had seen.

Marty knew that he had to win,

Though the votes were too few.

His confederates waited in the wings

With briefcase, bank bag, and IOU.


Marty's friends felt that it was time

To seal the election,

Even if it meant breaking the law

To install their selection.

Five judges were summoned;

A message was sent to their sanctum:

"Your duty is to the Fatherland

And to your oligarchic masters."


Marty took the oath

On that cold, January day--

In a nation, damaged, with

Democratic principles betrayed.


However, the people did remember.

How could they forget it--

The coup that was hatched

To put in an oligarchic president.


They sought restitution

And justice was found;

When four years later

Louis the Honorable

Was crowned.


...And the name,

Marty von Diebstahl,

Was sent into the abyss

To be forgotten--

To be forever dismissed.


Copyright 2001

Spencer R.Stauffer