coup2k.com
gorewon2000.net
JOIN THE RESISTANCE
New Recruits Click-> HERE
WELCOME, MR. PRESIDENT
Al Gore Click -> HERE
BUSH FAN ESCAPE HATCH
Conservatives Click->HERE

   BUSH BROTHERS BANANA REPUBLIC RESISTANCE, NEWS, HUMOR AND COMMENTARY

RESISTANCE DISPATCHES
THURSDAY - MAY 31, 2001

RABBITS VS. ELEPHANTS (AND NOW WOLVES!)

SITE NAVIGATOR

From: "James B. Higdon
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2001 8:56 AM
Subject: Re: I must say...

Tammy:

Thanks for the heads up regarding Beth's R v. E piece. She's right, of course, but her essay is somewhat incomplete.

I've been to the zoo, and spoken with a zoo keeper or two. Many of the zookeepers are extraordinarily lazy. They've seen the stinking pile, but haven't even studied their own profession enough to know what kind of animal could produce such a thing. Some of the really lazy ones say it was left by a donkey. They say that because the only information they have regarding the stinking pile came from a fax they received. I checked the number on at the top of the fax to see who sent it, and surprisingly, it was sent from the fax machine right next to the elephant cage.

Now, checking the pay rates of some of the laziest zoo keepers, one finds that the more lazy a zookeeper is, the higher his/her rate of pay. I'm talking
big bucks here. I mean they are the highest beneficiaries of a chimpanzee designed tax break.

Zoo keepers, in the regular course of events, used to be pretty damn competent. They could lead people through the zoo, point out pile after pile, and readily identify the exact animal that left it. And when the elephants began to develop a strain of really bad diarrhea, this made the elephants really, really nervous.

Also, in the old days, there was a vast number of independent minded directors who watched over the work of the zoo keepers. The diversity and integrity of these directors held the zoo keepers to a very high standard. There were even legendary zoo keepers, like Eddie Murrow and Walt Cronkite. They could smell out stinking piles clear from the other side of the zoo, but would never identify the animal until they were sure, and could prove what animal left it. But for the sake of the quality of the zoo, they never stopped their investigation until they could identify that animal.

Now, slowly and surely, all of those free thinking directors began to mysteriously disappear until all were gone. They were replaced, it has been reported, by only a few, like-minded directors, who are never seen. They have all agreed that the conscientious zoo keepers only stir up trouble, and get people upset. So, one by one, unless a zoo keeper agrees only to report what he/she gets off the fax machine, the zoo keeper will be summarily fired.

As an example, the former zoo keeper, who now resides at 
consortiumnews.com, was one of the best and brightest zoo keepers in one of the largest zoos in the country. He still identifies the piles, but since he is no longer a zoo keeper, nobody listens.

One day, after the largest stinking pile and mass destruction caused in some rampage occurred, I saw the zoo keepers sitting next to a fax machine, staring at it blankly. Soon the fax began to whir, producing a page, and one of the zoo keepers jumped to his feet shouting, "ALL OF THIS WAS DONE BY ONE OF THOSE HORNY DONKEYS!"

"Pssssttt!" I heard from behind. I turned to find nobody there. All that was before me was a cage containing a wolf. The sign on the wolf's cage said, "
www.dailyhowler.com."

"Hey, Buddy--come over here," whispered the wolf.

I did as requested and, looking at the sign inquired, "does this mean you howl every day?"

"Well, I used to," said the wolf, "but I've been busy, so I'm averaging about a couple of times a week, and this is your lucky day."

The wolf began to howl the strange habits of the zoo keepers, finally telling me, "You know, just living in the zoo--things get around. Any lemur can tell you a lot more than these zoo keepers, just by keeping his eyes wide open and his ear to the ground."

I was curious as to why so much within the zoo had changed. "Where can I go to find out?" I asked the wolf.

"Well," began the wolf, "there used to be a couple of pretty good zoo keepers, Carl Bernstein and Bobby Woodward--they had some pretty good advice."

"What's that?"

"Follow the money," whispered the wolf privately, "follow the money."

"Whatever happened to Woodward and Bernstein?" I asked of the wolf.

"Oh, Bobby is still around, but usually he just sits over by the fax machine with the others counting his money. And Carl, well--he comes by every so often just to say, 'hi,' but other than that he doesn't say much."

So I've taken the advice of the wolf, and I've begun to follow the money. My resources are slim, but I'm doing my best. I've begun to write part one, but that all involves information I already know. I have a stack, a foot deep, of material I need to wade through, and there is much more that I need to find. But if we can't get good zoo keepers back on the job, there will be no end to stinking piles.

Later, Jim H.
ALSO TODAY:  MONKEY AND RESISTANCE MAIL

SITE SEARCH
 
powered by FreeFind

JOIN E-MAIL LIST

powered by ListBot

SUPPORT THIS SITE

powered by PayPal

TABLE OF CONTENTS
JUNE, 2001 

1  2  3  4  5  6
8  9-11  14
15  16  18  19

ARCHIVES
MAY 2001      APRIL 2001
FEBRUARY - MARCH 2001 
precoup2k - JANUARY 2001

GENERAL ISSUE:
Shop The Coup Couture Mall

Shirts, Mugs & Mousepads
Buttons1  Buttons2 
Video

Freebies & Do-It-Yourself:

FREE PC WALLPAPER!
MORE FREE WALLPAPER!
BBBR Web Banners
KillCoup Label Art   
Flip Bush Label Art
Bumpersticker Art 
Mastheads 1   Mastheads 2

NEW RECRUITS

Site F.A.Q.
Resistance Fighter F.A.Q.
Greatest Hits of the BBBR
Mandatory Minimums

COMMUNICATIONS

Mail  The Diva, WebMistress
Get Low-Volume Newsletter
Visit     Newsletter Archives
eGroup      Radio Free BBBR
Failsafe eGroup BBBR Lives
Search         Search The Site

BBBR MARCHING ORDERS! 

CHECK LEGITGOV.ORG
VISIT THE ACTIVISM HQ

Actions/Marches/Protests:

NOW! RYOB Retrospective!
6-21 Bush Birmingham Info
6-22 Jeb in Daytona Beach
6-23
Freepers, Harris in SC
NEWS*NEWS*NEWS  HELP!
6-25 Bush in Detroit
6-27 Bush in NY? More Info
6-29/7-1 Phil. Convention
July 4th Bush in Philly
July 4th CA Energy Events
7-7 Bananas for a Monkey
7-7 Testicular B-Day Event!

HUMOR:  TROOP MORALE

Laugh at the Coup
How the Dunce Stole...
GOP Election Victory Guide
Dear Diva: Jokes Mail War!!   
The Hymnal 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
The Quotable GW Bush

ALLIED FORCES:

Graphic Links   Text Links
BBBR Web Banners

COUP2K INTELLIGENCE:

FL & TX Election Laws
Votes Not Counted
Racial Demographics
Global Perspectives

ENEMY DISINFORMATION:

Rove's Forgery
The Nixon Lie  GOP Lies
Commie Flag Supreme?
Bush Christian Testimony?
Gore Biblically Illiterate?
Gore Invented Internet?
No GOP Florida Recounts?
Contesting Results?

The BBBR 'Aide de Camp'

Internet Radio:  RADIOLEFT
Solidarity:        FRINGEFOLK
Web Links: LINK CRUSADER
Rants:            THE BARDGAL
Party:       DEMOCRATS.COM
Bush Recon:    BUSHWATCH
Media Recon:     BUZZFLASH
News: ONLINE J.,AM-PO-JO
Commentary:        BARTCOP
Think Tank: CM Helwig Inst
Activism:  ACT FOR CHANGE
Protests:             LEGIT GOV
March-East:   VOTERMARCH
March-West:     VOTERWEST
Reform:               FAIR VOTE
Music Parody:   BOOT NEWT
Greeting Cards:  TRUCARDS
Postcards:         SHRUBBISH
Dubya Diary:        MADKANE

RATE
The BBBR Resistance
as a Political Site

NEXT: Exchange: Aero-Addicts Joanne & Diva

SUPPORT
Liberal Radio on the Net

SHOP Buttons T-Shirts, Mugs, Mousepads Videos

The ActivismHQ

E-Mail The Diva

TAKE
The Democrats.com
Voter Pledge

© 2000-2001 gorewon2000.net and coup2k.com. All rights reserved. Permission is given for individuals and non-profit web sites to copy and distribute articles provided herein in their original and unaltered form, provided attribution to this site is included. For-profit or print media seeking rights to publish or reprint content should send inquiries to thediva@coup2k.com
Fair Use Notice: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Such material is made available in an effort to advance understanding of environmental, political, human rights, economic, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues, etc. It is believed this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 USC Section 107, the material is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving similar information for research and educational purposes.  See:  http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml

SURF
The Anti-Dubya WebRing
A Proud Member of
The Anti-Dubya Webring
Site Owned and Authored by
"The Diva"
List | Stats | Join | Rand
Prev | Skip Prev | Prev 5
Next | Skip Next | Next 5
Powered by RingSurf!