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"Aerosmith are to rock and roll what Fonzie was to Happy Days"-Kid Rock
GREATEST AMERICAN ROCK BAND OF ALL TIME COMES TO THE DIVA'S EMOTIONAL RESCUE!
Well, it has happened again.
If you ask me, this is getting to be a pattern...
First, four months to the day after the 2000 General Presidential Election, Aerosmith arrives on the scene with a new album, Just Push Play, and puts an end to my four-month bout with political depression and Post-Coup Stress Disorder, with their unbelievably fantastic collection of new songs.
Now, one day after the "E-Mail Heard 'Round the BBBR," Aerosmith, once again, rescued me from an intense case of "bummed out-ness."
THE FACTS:
FACT: On Tuesday, March 20th (two days ago), I received an e-mail from a California State Democratic Party Caucus Chair, calling me a "total a**hole" and mocking my site as "a mess." He also declared that I was having no effect in this post-coup2k period.
FACT: This really bummed me out. Really.
FACT: The 16th Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony and Concert DID NOT HAPPEN LAST NIGHT. Actually, it took place on March 19th, two days prior. It did, however, AIR FOR THE FIRST TIME last night.
FACT: Though I had begun to recover from "The E-Mail Hear 'Round the BBBR," I was in no way completely back to my normal chipper self.
FACT: An appearance on television in which Aerosmith performed live on a real concert stage (as opposed to the little patch of linoleum at Saturday Night Live), was just what the doctor ordered for this Diva.
FACT: The backing "news monologue" that kicked off the intro to "Sweet Emotion" was absolutely perfect for the song, AND for Aerosmith.
FACT: Although Kid Rock came dangerously close to ruining the performance of "Sweet Emotion" (nothing can actually ruin a song that Joe Perry plays the talk-box on. I mean, please!), Aerosmith's solo performance of "Train Kept A-Rollin' (All Night Long)" was PERFECT. Almost as good as great sex.
FACT: The guys not only SOUNDED great, they MOVED great, and LOOKED great.
FACT: Kid Rock's rap to introduce the band was inspired.
FACT: Steven Tyler's acceptance speech rap was MORE inspired.
FACT: Joe Perry's hair is growing out. I consider this a very good sign. The Ides of March may be moving into the past. I haven't examined any entrails or tea leaves, but this is about the best omen I can imagine.
THE EXTRAS:
EXTRA: Queen's performance of "We Are the Champions," which kicked off the Ceremony and Concert, was fabulous.
EXTRA: Dave Groll's vocals on "Tie Your Mother Down," and Brian May's lead guitar, were raw -- IN THE BEST WAY.
EXTRA: Queen's decision to call Freddie Mercury's mother to the stage to accept his statuette was a beautiful and moving gesture. (Yes, I cried. I love Freddie Mercury.)
CONCLUSIONS:
When Aerosmith tours this year, I MUST BE IN POSSESSION OF GOOD TICKETS! This is a personal moral imperative! Failure is impossible!
Yes, I have seen the band before. Yes, I have seen them more than once. But, no, I have never been close enough to get the full Aerosmith experience. For me, this would be as close to a "religious experience" as I can imagine. I deserve to have this experience AT LEAST ONCE before I shuffle off this mortal coil, and do my duty for daisies. It's only fair...
NEXT: AN OPEN LETTER TO THE CHAMPIONS
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